A few more recent pics of my little "ham" of a kiddo. Don't know where the tilted
head suddenly came from, but yes, it melts a mommy's heart!
Yikes - sorry about the outfit combo. Think there was an "explosion" and Mommy was looking for the first set of warm pants since we were staying inside for the day.
Precious...even when she's sick!
EJ had climbed up up this chair by herself, with her milk in tow, and then got on Mommy's phone and did the head tilt AGAIN. (Poor thing - this is the day I found out she had been suffering a double ear infection, right after recooperating from Croup! You can see it in/around her eyes that she wasn't 100%.)
So, this is actually a TOY that Grandma had given her, but it's not meant to be SAT in - there is a tray that sits on the square part, but EJ has decided it's her chair...as you'll see a repeating theme. :)
At quick glance, she looks like she's playing air guitar!! Ha!
Love the tongue sticking out, too!
Love the pointed toes.
And, just moments after eating and playing "air guitar" in her "toy," she was off to climb the couch, find the remote and make it do that fun sound (a.k.a. turning the t.v. on), with her tongue out again.
Once again, back in the TOY, "writing" a card to Laurie for her birthday!
Here is what I wanted to post back on Sunday, but the strep throat has slowed me down a bit. I'm sure I have forgotten to include a handful of wonderful things you have all done for me, but I'll add them when my brain isn't on medication or sleep-deprived! :) Thank you all for working so hard to bless me so much!
Getting my sweet baby back early for the day (and she took a great nap after church)!
Friends stopped by with balloons early to be among the first to wish me a great birthday!
Lunch with Courtney and Charlie (how big he's gotten!)!
Getting to drive Courtney's stick shift again - such a delight for me that day!
Surprise visit from CJ, Mary and (sleepy) Naomi, with food and balloons in hand!
Surprise visit from the wonderful Peck family, with cookies and cards in hand!
Surprise iShuffle from Heather for all my recent workouts (and now running!)!
So many friends coming by for pizza, soda and other yummies - great time to hang out and catch up!
A special figurine of a mother cradling her daughter/baby from Heidi - more precious than ever to me!
Fun candles, lip glosses, gift cards and other fun girlie things!
Sweet and encouraging and loving cards all week long!
Bunches of flowers from 3 different people!
A gift of a MASSAGE gift certificate from a friend!
Fun birthday money from a few different people!
A zoo membership for me 'n' EJ!
Phone calls from lots o' people!
A surprise package from a friend's church group in Indiana (meaning, they don't even KNOW me!) with prayers, cards, encouragements, and gift cards for me and EJ!
A sweet prayer (and visit) from the Stiles family!
Encouraging words (one of my "faves" is "B.A." - I'm totally abbreviating, but Dave & Christy, you know what I'm talking about!!) and sweet prayers from my dear church group (and a totally hyper EJ who was cracking us all up on Mon night!)!
Dinner with the Farleys and new friend Marilyn and children and a surprise birthday cake and song from everyone!
Thank you, THANK YOU ALL! Wow - I keep thinking, seeing, remembering more and more blessings that came my way over this last week. So amazing....
A few Birthday Pics:
Aren't these 2 ADORABLE?!?
Yummy lunch and fun afternoon with Courtney and our babies.
Mommy and EJ together...a gift in and of itself!
Kisses for Mommy!
Sweet "AM" and EJ smilin' with me!
Jeff and his baby girl, "KE" and EJ (she was much happier playing with Jeff than this picture shows!)
To SOO many of you who made my bday so special and reminded me that I am LOVED lots and well by you all, thank you! I have pictures and many fun blessings to update, but I have been struck with strep and I'm not feeling all that great. Hoping the antibiotics kick in quickly, and that I can get some sleep. I'll update ASAP, but THANK YOU all for all that you did, here and from afar!
With love,
Beck
P.S. It was also the first time that EJ very intentionally called out for "Momma, Momma" (she's known how to say it for a LONG time, but usually just starts rambling). What a fun treat for a mommy!! It was also the first time SHE decided to sniff her feet (hearing her little nose breathing in and out while her foot is jammed up in her face - her own doing) and then giggling and waiting for me to say, "Pew!" It was awesome!
Yea! A friend told me a secret to getting these videos on!!! Now, if I can just figure out how to edit the front and back ends of them. But, for now, here you go, out-of-towners who don't get to see EJ's antics!
First the "hi" to the 'baby' in the mirror, then KISSES to the baby, then a big girl crawl in the air - my favorite are the feeting dangling and squirming. :)
You can hear her say "down" :] and the
standard "no" :[ in here if you listen closely.
This video is specifically for Aunt Karen, our taco-lover. :) Hope you like it!
A little background before the final video: the new favorite pasttime is emptying Mommy's pantry, full of cereal boxes and potatoes. See the effort in the picture below, and the results of those efforts in the pictures and final video at bottom!
It has been a tough several weeks lately...including having to make one of the toughest decisions in my life earlier this week (one that I absolutely did not want with one fiber of my being to make, and grieves my soul so deeply)...and including receiving some communications today that were such "salt" in the still fresh, gaping, painful wound. Somehow, I am living this life where every day I am learning and seeing (from having my precious daughter) just how MUCH room in our hearts there is to love...to love better...to make room to love more people..., while also experiencing and living with a broken heart. I have been inundated with "flashbacks" so much over these last several weeks - times of such joy, laughter, happiness, light-heartedness, silliness, that once was for many years...I have such trouble comprehending how so much of that can be so easily thrown away, given up, moved on from. Sure, folks can tell me to remember those good times and hang on to them for the bad times,...but so much of those good times are now tainted by the end result...an end result that includes sad memories, times of deep hurting, loneliness...they are tainted because they were never given the opportunity to be worked through in healthy ways, to process through and grieve the disappointment and hurt that came from ways we can sin against one another, and then to work to do better and act more lovingly. It has been some tough weeks of trying to let go of so much hope and willingness and hugely important things to me that I value and believe in. I don't know that I've been very good at "letting go" of much, but today and tonight were some heartbroken moments of tears and heartache. I hate so much of this path that I have to now head down - I didn't choose it, I didn't want it, I certainly never imagined it - and yet I cannot become some bitter, angry woman...I have to RIGHT NOW work on becoming the woman I want my daughter to model and respect and cherish, even though she's only a year old; I cannot suddenly, some day switch gears and change once I think she's "getting it." I have to engrain "it" (the changes, the grace, the forgiveness, the peace, the kindness, the waiting-on-the-Lord-ness,...) into my life NOW, and then continue to develop those characteristics every day. And part of being the woman I want to be for EJ, is being real about the pain and hurt and the hopes shattered. I'm not ashamed of the sobbing with my precious church group tonight (thank you, you guys - you are wonderful beyond what I can explain)...I think it's all part of the journey down this path.
And, going down this path has proved to be painful. I do not know how people go through such difficult, life-changing, awful situations without God...without hope that the Being that created them indeed has a purpose in their life in the midst of the trials and awfulness. I have been reminded again and again by the Lord's amazing faithfulness that even though He is holy, He is a loving father who delights in hearing from His children. And because of that, I have poured out my heart and sorrow and grief and shock and disappointment to Him along this journey. Do I have immediate answers about the "whys" or about what the future looks like? No - thankfully, God's timing is not an instant-gratification like our culture is - His timing, instead, is perfect. Always. And, so, I share some things I have come across recently that have helped me hang on.
Psalm 61 (bold"ness" added by me):
Hear my cry, O God, give heed to my prayer. From the end of the earth I call to You when my heart is faint;
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For You have been a refuge for me, a tower of strength against the enemy.
Let me dwell in Your tent forever; let me take refuge in the shelter of Your wings.
For You have heard my vows, O God, You have given me the inheritance of those who fear Your name.
You will prolong the king's life; his years will be as many generations.
He will abide before God forever; appoint lovingkindness and truth that they may preserve him.
So I will sing praise to Your name forever, that I may pay my vows day by day.
And, some excerpts from a book I've read:
(Background: I have so often been encouraged that I have been "strong" and "courageous" and have "endured" and extended patient/grace in this situation. I appreciate and am encouraged (!) by such admonishments from others...yet I have never felt "strong" - I have felt like I have had to persevere through this trial and for the sake of my daughter...so this passage resonated with me.)
"Part of the privilege given to thsoe of us who suffer [is that we are ordinary people that God gave the strength to when we needed it]. We have the opportunity to put the faithfulness of God on display to those around us - not because we are strong people with strong faith, but because we are weak in courage and weak in faith. God gives us His strength in our weakness, so that everyone can see that our glorious power is from God and is not our own. Our lives become the canvas on which God draws a picture of these words: 'My power works best in your weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9)'"
"My pillow at the end of these long days is my greatest friend. It means that enough suffering has gone on for today, and even though I know there will be new opportunities to feel sadness the next day, I have suffered enough for today."
Thank You, God, for providing an END to some painful days, and provision for rest. Though my bed is a huge source of memories, cozy times, and days where I felt physical comfort and protection, some nights I am grateful for the quietness, the solitude, my special times with You, a break from being Mommy or employee or housekeeper...and thank You for my pillows: thank You for providing an end to the sadness and suffering of the day.
More pictures! And, if all works out, some videos at the bottom, too! :) (Some images were taken on my cell phone, so they are a tiny bit fuzzy.)
These are mostly for the out-of-town people who don't get to see EJ's antics all the time!
Thanks for viewing...
My precious little monkey not only eats bananas, but gives the BEST monkey hugs!
My lil' monkey has a monkey hamper, and after seeing the cat playing inside it, she thought she'd climb in, too! Then she stood up and all I saw were her pink socks! The next picture was a few minutes later when she got turned around and started walking IN the hamper! Definitely had Mommy laughing!
The new favorite pasttime is to get into the pantry, unload all the cereal and snack bars. This time, she got in to the granola and literally just squatted there for about 4 minutes eating small handfuls out of the bag.
It's hard to tell, but this adorable outfit has bellbottom pants, she has my headband on, and had just run into the bathroom to play with this bath toy, and was excited that she figured out how to turn it on.
For whatever reason, I LOVE this right-after-a-bath picture...adorable and pretty all in one to me!
Happiness after a bath!
MORE happiness after a bath! Plus, warm, cozy snuggles, too.
Another precious one to me - my little one often doesn't sit still ANYwhere...and on this wonderful afternoon, I stopped at a park randomly and after she played for a while, she was content just sitting on the slide for about 15 minutes inspecting the wood chips on the playground. It's those moments where we see they are growing, learning, curious, exploring...where life just pauses for a little while, doesn't it?
So, the story on this one is that we were in the grocery store. As usual, I look for things to hand my antsy one to keep her occupied...after a few minutes of not paying attention to exactly what she was doing, she had eaten about 2 inches off the top of the cucumber - skin and all! A girl after Mommy's heart (my love for cucumbers)!
This was just tonight. She figured out how to get in and out of the laundry basket, all by herself.
Nope - can't get the videos to load. :( So sad. Stay tuned...maybe soon!
